SEVEN things never to say to a veteran

From The Kitchen Dispatch:

SEVEN things never to say to a veteran

The other day, we had the most wonderful party here at the house. I was very selective in making the guest list. I only invited individuals who had proven themselves to be the epitome of grace and encouragement.

However, let's just say some of our rather insular neighbors --of whom we only have a passing acquaintance, have not. I'm writing this to ask you to pass it on. It's fair to say that most military families go through what we did: people don't care to ask how you are during the deployment, but they will give you --unsolicited, their two cents about the war. All of this has made a homecoming a little bit uneasier, as even taking the dog out can be like a walk through a social mine field.

Their boorish and rude behavior breaks every code of social etiquette. They also stomp without feeling on those who have been through a life altering experience. The following tips have been culled from DiversityInc. I've also compiled a reading list for those who are greatest in need. The books make great Christmas, anniversary or birthday presents! It's apparent that the rudest were never given (as I was) a copy of Emily Post when they were sixteen!

SEVEN THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO A VETERAN

1. "Thank you for your service, but I don't think we should have been there in the first place."

All that's needed is, "Thank you for your service." Anything more shows that you really are more interested in what you think, and that you think your opinion is of more importance than everyone else's.

Everyone has an opinion about the war but not everyone wants to hear it, says Ryan Kules, an Army veteran who spent 18 months at Walter Reed recuperating from wounds. People often use him as a sounding board for their take on the war.

"People should recognize their opinion is a personal view and not necessarily an appropriate thing to share with someone who has obviously physical injuries from a conflict," says Ryan Kules. This is especially true in the workplace.

2. "Is it worth it?"
People should understand that this is a multifacted question. The soldier and his family has done extensive research into the history of the region, the cultural differences, the needs, and also the politics. It is a highly subjective question, and usually the person who asks this has already made up their mind irrespective of the experience or education of the person they are addressing.

3. "Are you a lesbian?"

Don't even ask what a newly returned veteran thinks about "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." It's a deep conversation, and you might find yourself pulled into a direction you don't want to go....

To read the rest of this - and it IS a must read - go here.

Meanwhile, "Thank you for your service" works really well..

H/T Janet #1!